Spartan Beast Windsor 2018

This review may be my last. Spartan Beast Windsor has potentially sent me into early retirement.

On a rainy, miserable Saturday morning, me and my brother Dai, made the lengthy journey to Windsor. Before I had even set foot on the Spartan site, I was wet. I’d had a headache and so decided to take some tablets but as I tried to swallow a big gulp of water, Dai made me laugh and I spat it out all over the steering wheel and myself. Much to his amusement, but to my distress.

On our arrival, the entrance to the site was a little problematic. The road was still more congested than desired but was a shorter wait than last year. Parking was good as there was plenty of space in the field. I do, however, still think that parking should be in the cost of the race entry. An extra £5 doesn’t seem much, but on top of travel, entry and any other onsite expenditures, I think it’s a bit steep.

Registration was very simple and easy and the volunteers were very helpful. There was no queue which meant as little time in the rain as possible (she says knowing that it would have made no difference. The whole race was out in the rain.)

Bag drop was great and fast and the volunteers were very attentive even whilst I was rushing and fumbling around to get everything in my bag in time to get on the next heat. I must have looked like a mad woman.

For us, this race was bittersweet. It was the last in the season but as of yet, we haven’t been able to complete our trifecta. Part of this is because, for some reason, all the Sprints are on a Sunday! We even went all the way to Amsterdam to take part in the Spartan Sprint as it was on a Saturday but a week or so before the race it was canceled. Hint, hint Spartan.

Anyway, on to the race. AROO, AROO, AROO. We were pumped and ready to take on this literal beast of a race. We both we wore Macmillan green in honour of our Grandfather, Wynford Seymour. We have managed to raise £160 so far and if you would like to donate, please click here.

Within the first 5 minutes, there was a backlog. I don’t think it was a great idea to have made a ‘single track’ route so quickly. Too many people were itching to get past but there simply was not enough room. Once this opened out, we were off and I could really enjoy the trail run through the woods.

I’m not going to bore you with the details of every single obstacle.

1) It would simply take too long.

2) I actually have repressed most of them because they were evil.

In all seriousness, thinking back to the race whilst driving home, I honestly couldn’t remember half of what we had just done. Exhausted body, exhausted mind. And to think, some crazy Spartans had done the Sprint, Super, and Beast that weekend. I just can’t.

But, having said that, there were some really fun obstacles and sections of trail running. I think that the setting of this Spartan compared to Aston Down is what really makes the difference. I LOVE running through the woods. Aston kills you with hills and Windsor kills you with mud but I’ll take mud any day of the week.

Grip was next to impossible on Twister, Monkey Bars, and Tyrolean Traverse. My brother had even decided to purchase some OCR approved gardening gloves but the constant rain and mud were no match for our fake green fingers. Kudos to those that had the grip of a monkey and effortlessly made these obstacles look easy.

The bucket carry was far more manageable this time around and I even remember saying to my brother “I actually enjoyed that” I know, I’m crazy. Some ingenious sandbag carries made the difficult race a little funnier and lifted some soggy spirits. Sometimes, balancing the bag on your head is the only way to conserve arm strength and simultaneously look like Toad from Mario.

The middle of the race was sort of a blur of trails and wading through mud. It probably also consisted of me pointing out the obvious fact that it was STILL raining.

Mud. I like mud. On our way home, Dai called my brother Glenn and they discussed the difference in the mud between the Calgary Sprint and the Windsor Beast. Seriously. You’ll only understand the necessity for this sort of conversation if you have ever done a Spartan race. Windsor certainly had its fair share of gloopy ‘shoe sucking’ mud along with the ‘to your waist’ ponds of liquid dirt. Both of which provided some great entertainment on the route. Obviously, Spartan racer etiquette demands that you only laugh once you’re sure they haven’t broken an ankle.

I’m not sure whether it was my physical condition at this point of the race, but Herc Hoist and the Atlas Stone Carry was significantly harder than before. I had always managed to complete Herc Hoist on my own but this year, volunteers were requesting that people work in pairs. And I’m so glad that I did.

Water and food stops are a must but I felt that more variation at stops was needed. In previous races, there has been bananas and other snacks. This race was jelly babies and dolly mixture. Personally, I’m not a fan of sweets but each to their own. I didn’t, however, think that there were enough water stops.

My only real problem with this race was the lack of photographers. In one way, I was glad that I didn’t get many pictures (I looked like death most of the way around), but I did feel like considering the length of the race, there needed to be more points where photos were taken. In total, I had two pictures from the Tyre carry and a very dark fire jump photo. I did, however, have massive respect for those photographers who sat out in the rain all day.

The most frustrating part of this race, for me, was the fact that there were things I knew my body could do, but because of the cold, I just physically and mentally couldn’t. My hands were frozen, and when it came to the Rope Wall, I couldn’t make it to the top. The volunteers at this obstacles were incredible as well as the other racers who helped a shivering, exhausted (crying) girl over the top. A quick walk over to the Spear Throw and knee and leg cramps were rampant. At this point, the finish line was all I wanted and it was still so far away. I am aware, before anyone says, that it wasn’t far away. In fact, I could see it right in front of me. But I was being over dramatic and I’m allowed.

I hear that women forget the pain of childbirth once their baby has been born, this is how I felt about the Beast. I remember feeling completely ruined the last time I raced, but for some reason, I signed up again. For myself, I feel like the preparation for each Spartan race is SO different and really, you can race for fun, but these races are HARD. They are meant to test your strength and endurance and, to really not feel like a defeated mess at the end, it’s important to PREPARE.

It is important to also remember that conditions affect everything. I think that I would have done so much better in this race if the weather was not so poor. Well, that’s my excuse anyway.

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Nancy Hole

I'm an aspiring obstacle course racer from Great Britain. Wales to be precise (10 points goes to whoever actually knows where that is)
I LOVE racing. Something that has been instilled in me by my brother Glenn Hole (ocrguychallenge) when he first introduced me to Spartan Race in Calgary, Canada. Since that muddy, rainy incredible day, I've been hooked.
You'll find me at the end of the race wondering why I put myself through it. You'll also find me 10 minutes later finding out when I can sign up next.