Intro
Forget Tough Mudder’s Funky Monkey 2.0, Savage Race’s Tree Hugger, or whatever rig Spartan throws at you. We all know the biggest obstacle can be getting that office mate of yours to actually try an obstacle race. We at ORM, always want to help where we can. So we’ve devised a foolproof plan. Get ready to recruit your new team with these unstoppable objection overcomers!
Objection Number 1:
“I did that shit in the military”.
Objection Overcomer:
“Awesome. Thanks for your service. Now, here are a few ways an obstacle race is different”
- You will not have to carry any heavy weight as you did in the military (unless you choose to).
- Some of these races donate to military causes.
- No asshole yelling at you to “Get the fuck down off my obstacle!”
- Medal and hugs at the end.
Objection Number 2:
“I injured my ______________ (pick a body part) back in 1997/high school/college/Nam”. (Circle One).
Objection Overcomer:
“Awesome! Has a doctor told you in the last week that you couldn’t or shouldn’t exercise?”
“No?! – I didn’t think so.”
“Yes? – Get a new doctor!”
“Ok, now that we’ve cleared that up. Let me get my cell phone out and show you some photos”.
“Here’s picture of Amy. She’s missing a leg, and she does obstacle races”.
“Didn’t do it for ya?!….Ok, here’s my pal Noah, he’s missing a leg AND an arm. He does OCR”.
Not that one dummy! This one!
“Oh shoot, almost forgot…another dude I know. His name is Todd. He’s got 3 less appendages than you or me, does this kind of thing all of the time.”
“Anyhow….Do you think it would be harder for you and your “little injury” to do an obstacle race than these folks?”
Objection Number 3:
“I have to lose ___ pounds first” (fill in the blank)
Objection Overcomer:
“Awesome. No you don’t. You can start today. Why wait?!?!?”
“Besides, you aren’t losing those those pounds any time soon.”
“You been walking around with all of that extra weight saying “one day I’ll diet”.
“Why would you magically do that now, without anything to motivate you?
“Nothing changes if nothing changes!”
“Look, here’s my BattleFrog discount code to make it even cheaper!
“Shit, I mean, here’s an awesome discount I found on Obstacle Racing Media to save you a few bucks even”
Objection Number 4:
“I saw on the news that I will get diarrhea/break my arm/get a weird eye infection/die (circle one) if I try a Warriors Dash”
Objection Overcomer:
“If you believed every fear mongering thing you saw on the news, you’d never open your front door!”
“The mainstream media loves to pump you full of fear so that they can sell you more Ovaltine and Chevrolets!”
“Fuck that shit. Get out there and do an obstacle race!”
Conclusion
All right, I’ve done my part. Wish there was 5. Got stuck on 4. Print this out right now. You were about to go on a coffee break anyway. Grab that mate at the cube next to you. Tell them you got something to talk about.
Matt B. Davis
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