Fleo Shorts Review

 

Guys, unless you are shopping for shorts for your gal, you can stop reading now.  I’m pretty sure this review is only going to interest the lifting and OCR chicks.

Im taking a risk here to talk about the infamous and indispensable phenomena known as the “Booty Short.” Also known as the butt short, the short short, the lifting girl short, also known as “Becky your butt is so big in those shorts” shorts. Also known as the bests short to wear to squat and/or Crossfit workouts.

We’ve certainly come along way since Dolphin shorts. Hey there, if you’re too young to know what those are, google it and laugh at yet another terrible eighties trend.

I have worn a lot of different booty shorts because I squat a lot. I’ve found that they are the best functioning short to wear when performing heavy lifts and doing a lot of HIIT. That is because you can comfortably wear knee sleeves and stay relatively cool. Plus wearing shorts is simply easier when you’re doing these movements. Bonus – if you’re working on building muscle, it can encourage you to build your butt to really live up to the booty short’s reputation.

Fleo Shorts Features

High Rise Original (Blue and White Print)  High rise with a 2.5″ inseam and 4″ wide waistband.

Original (Green and Blue) These are mid rise and 2.5″ inseam. They are very short. No tummy support and show a lot of skin.

Power High Rise (Hawaiian Print) High rise and 4″ inseam 4″ wide waistband- total coverage and good tummy support.

 

Fleo Shorts Usage

I wear these shorts on leg days to perform heavy squats and dead lifts, and lots of accessory exercises.

They don’t ride up, the high waisted ones have been my favorite because the leg bands are tight and they don’t move when I’m in the hole. I like to mid rise style for cardio. I like both styles because they are not see through when I’m squatting, or jumping, or doing anything that has me bending down like deadlifts, etc .

I have bought a few brands that say they are squat proof and seriously they are not. I have suffered the embarrassment of going back and looking at video of my butt peaking though fabric. Not fun! I love Fleo because they are thick fabric, NOT see through at all, very soft and comfortable, and they are really cute. They have twenty patterns to choose from. Anything from simple and plain to adorable and bold.

Fleo Shorts Durability

Very durable short, Just hang dry for sure.

Fleo Shorts Pros and Cons

Pros

  • The patterns and colors to choose from
  • Squat proof
  • Perfect length
  • Stay tight and don’t ride up
  • Super comfy
  • Flattering and hold you in the right places
  • and this, you can add more likes by hitting enter

Cons

  • High price point
  • Not as many patterns available in the higher waisted/longer ones, which I personally prefer.

Similar Products

Born Primitive

IAB Workout Booty Shorts

Fleo Shorts Conclusion

I definitely recommend buying these shorts. I think in the case of the booty short the phrase “Buy cheap, buy twice” does apply. These shorts are still in great shape after washing them often and the designs are adorable. Most importantly they don’t ride up or show your butt in the way you totally absolutely don’t want them to. They are squat proof!

EndurElite Review

EndureElite Reviews

EndurElite has a stack of seven powder supplements and they were generous enough to send them all to us for review. I don’t take a lot of supplements so I was very curious to try this ambitious stack of 7. Creatine and fish oil are the two supplements I  believe work well, and I have seen results from taking them for a couple of  years. I shy away from anything with hundreds of ingredients. I’m a firm believer that nutrition and consistent training heed results. Supplements can help, but only if you have the other two elements down pat.  All of the ingredients in EndurElite products were not only minimal, but clean.  I was pleasantly surprised by the high quality of all of these products. I absolutely love a few, but I liked them all.

I am going to give you the low down of my three faves, WheyElite, SustainElite, and SleepElite.

EndurElite Features

WheyElite  – Sweetened with monk fruit and very clean ingredient list.

SustainElite – Great fuel for a long work out (esp. if you’re fasting).

SleepElite – AMAZING ingredients and guess what? Goodnight for realz.

EndurElite Usage

WheyElite: is really good tasting, was very easy on my stomach and the whey is “Cross- Flow”, micro filtrated whey. I always look for a low carb whey, which this one has 1 gram per 25 gram scoop of protein.

SustainElite: I used for work outs where I had to do fasting cardio and then lift afterwards. This stuff is very effective in keeping you in an anabolic state if you have not eaten and you are trying to build muscle and lose fat.

SleepElite: Magnesium, lemon balm and L-Theanine are just a few of the amazing ingredients in this stuff. All of the ingredients are for either recovery or sleep, so combined, they do the trick, and I didn’t feel groggy in the morning.

SleepEliteReview

EndurElite Pros and Cons

Pros

WheyElite

  • Easy on the stomach. Clean ingredients.
  • Mixes well with almond milk
  • Impressive amino acid profile

SustainElite

  • Very effective for endurance and a longer work out.
  • Sustains energy with moderate amount of clean carbs.
  • Amino Acids and electrolyte combo.

SleepElite

  • Supports falling asleep easily and well.
  • No grogginess in the morning.

Cons

WheyElite

  • There are some better tasting wheys out there
  • Doesn’t mix well in water but I prefer almond milk.

SustainElite

  • The lemon lime flavor wasn’t to my taste.

SleepElite

  • Some prefer NOT to drink something before bedtime

Similar Products

Naked Whey – Grass-fed whey protein powder

Skratch Labs Sport Hydration 

EndurElite Conclusion

I was impressed with Endurelite’s sophisticated and clean ingredients. I recommend all of the supplements, depending on what will meet your training needs. If anything, definitely give the Sleep Elite a try, and see if it improves your rest.

Just Call Me “Pee Pants”.

The only way to convey the true mortification I experienced at the gym is to give you too much information. TMI, as they call it on the internet, or #tmi. However you want to frame it, I prefer to avoid situations that put me in this “TMI” category. I’ve learned that some things are out of my control.

Maybe I’m willing to expose my embarrassment because I want another person to know that they are not alone. Or perhaps, honestly, I don’t want to feel alone. I hope I’m not alone in my need to be “cool” at the gym. I especially like to appear like I know what I’m doing and I have my shit together. That I’m not the only one who puts on a facade like I’m doing just fine, when I’m really not. I lift weights and exercise because I feel fucking crazy if I don’t.

It was a Monday morning. I was tired and starting to feel a cold coming on. My head ached and my throat felt scratchy, which made me pretty grumpy. I didn’t want anything to infringe on my gym time, especially a measly cold. I chose to move on, mostly because I couldn’t stay home and” rest “with my three year old, so I proceeded with my routine. It was a chaotic morning with kids fighting, cereal milk spilling and plenty of crying. I didn’t feel well and I knew a good lift was the only hope I had left to raise my spirits.

I dropped River, my 3 year old, off at the daycare and did my usual. I locked my locker, grabbed my  weight belt and started with squats. I’m currently training for a power lifting competition, so my routine is very specific. I follow a plan with heavy weight and low reps. Mind you, I’ve birthed three children so I never leave home without a panty liner, and I must be armed because you never know. But, because I was feeling worn out that day, I assumed I wouldn’t lift heavy,  so I was unarmed. That was my first mistake .

I always feel better after I lift weights, its like my mental medicine. Consequently, I started to feel better, so I moved up in weight. The cold was no longer creeping up on me.

My friend Zach came in, and we said hello to each other. He saw that I was squatting, ” Hey Stacie, ” He said, ” Are you going to go heavy today?” “Yep,” I said. “Im going to go heavy.” He usually spots me, so he nodded and said “Ok, I’ll be over in a minute.” I started to prep my 155 pound squat, which is the heaviest I’ve ever gone, and with respect to reps, it was a challenge.

I was ready. Zach stood behind me and gave me that secure feeling, knowing if I fell on my ass with weight on my back,  I wouldn’t die. There is something about a heavy squat that is exciting and scary, accomplishment mixed with slight danger . ” You got this, ” he said. “I got this” I said in my mind as I dropped down and came up. I did one rep. I was focused and determined as I dropped down again. It was heavy but I had it. I felt strong for a third, that fire burning in my stomach pushed me deep into a 3rd squat. I hit down low and it felt heavy but I was getting back up no  matter what. So I started to push up , I felt my glutes click and suddenly a stream of pee splattered to the gym floor. Not just a drop, A STREAM OF PEE, like I was peeing with pants on and it looked like it. Zach was still behind me, I’m pretty sure I splattered pee on him too. I was fucking mortified. I wanted to run but I had a 155 pound bar on my back. He helped me rack the bar. I was out of breath from the squat and the possible near panic attack from embarrassment. In that small lapse of a second I had an impulse to cover it up, so I started rubbing my Converse over the pee to cover it. Nope that wasn’t going to work, I couldn’t exactly grind wet pee into the floor.

He commended me, ” You did it!” I was so distracted by my pee I wanted to DIE. Another lapse of a thought said ,”Fuck it Stacie, just own it, there is nothing you can do to cover this up, you moron.” I laughed a little,and Im pretty sure my eyes were popping out of my head and  I said,”ummm, yeah I did it but I peed my pants.”  “It happens,” He said. He made nothing out of it, it was as if nothing happened. I was waiting for him to start pointing and laughing at me, announcing to the entire gym. “Stacie peed all over the floor!!!!!!!!!!” ” LOOK everyone, introducing Stacie The Pee Pants Davis!” But no, he did none of the above. He just sort of chuckled with an accepting look in his eyes.

I wanted to roll myself like a ball of yarn, and jump into the garbage of used paper towels by the StairMaster. But no, life went on. And the pee didn’t clean itself up. That may have been the worst fucking part. I grabbed a few paper towels while feeling horrified about being human. Much less putting my bodily functions on display at the ONE place where I had an possibility of looking cool. Seeing as I’m married to a man who sounds like he shits his pants in public, I saw the irony.

It wasn’t over. Zach helped me clean up the pee continuing a conversation about squatting and handed me the simple green spray.  Gone went the pee, and seconds later it was as it nothing happened. The humility I felt could have ripped my skin off as I stood there with wet pants. Thank God the pants were dark. I thought to myself, FUCK, the ONE day I didn’t wear a panty liner. THE ONE DAY!!!! But isn’t that life’s way of keeping us alive? Just when you think you’re cool, you pee your pants mid-squat.

I’m still waiting to walk in the gym tomorrow and hear, “Here comes Pee Pants Stacie !” And everyone is throwing pads at me like Carrie, ” You need a pad, Pee Pants?!!???” As laughter erupts, “Look, it’s Pee Pants I Can Squat 155 And Piss Myself Davis!!!”

It hasn’t happened yet, but I can assure you I will never leave home without my Poise Pad again.

Bermuda Triple Challenge

Bermuda Triple Challenge Beach 1

Arriving to Bermuda was like falling into a dream. It’s a picturesque paradise lined with whispering palms, white sand beaches, and water like glass. Its so fucking beautiful there.  Not to mention that Matt and I traveled ALONE,  without kids hanging on our legs, or punching each other in the face. No noise. No chaos. No fighting. No crying. I think it was the first time in years I had any consecutive days without someone crying.

Honestly, I was in no mood to race. I saw the beach and wanted to lay there for four days straight. Maybe not even eat, just lay there.

I had to keep mentally preparing myself. There were 3 races, so it was the perfect “race-cation”. Friday night was the Argus Urban Footrace, staged all around the town of St. George’s. The race distance was between 2 and 3 miles. The roads were so narrow and windy, and hilly. Just picture running in a european beach town. The streets were filled with pops of color, wild flowers, salty air, and quaint cottages. In between were 33 obstacles , yes I  said 33, on the streets of Bermuda. I’m pretty sure they don’t regulate obstacles there. The guys thought, “That would be cool”, and they just made it.

Bermuda Triple Challenge - Val

At one point I climbed over rope net that was draped over a fucking BUS. Just a bus sitting in the middle of this course with people climbing over it. Not to mention that the net was slipping most of the way down but no big deal.  Then we jumped over cars. Literally jumped on the hoods of two cars and then into the back seat of a van and through the windows of a random four door car. It was like Dukes of Hazard turned into an obstacle. Meanwhile, there was no mud, just friendly volunteers in army fatigues saying “this way” and giving commands in Bermudian accents. Lots and lots of walls and container climbs. The spider web was a mass of tangled ropes and Im pretty sure it could’ve caused some serious rope injuries but no one seemed phased. As the sun set, it started to get chilly. we approached a hill and had to tie our ankles and jump up the hill, it was harder than you think. Following looking like a complete idiot with tied ankles, we had to then bear crawl down a huge hill.

Bermuda Triple Challenge

This was not an easy race. Finally we got to the rope climb, then there was run along the wall of the ocean. I guess you could say it was like running on a glorified curb with a 15 foot drop to the sea in the dark. “Holy Shit! I can’t see!” I said to Matt. Mostly pretending I wasn’t thinking about how easily I could miss a step and just fall into the ocean. Laughing to Matt I said,” I hope I don’t fall in and DIE.”  Did anyone think of that? Maybe, maybe not, but possibly another exciting pro to doing a true grass roots race. No frills, no bullshit, nothing fancy at all, but a whole lot of great.

Race #2, The Sun Life Island Challenge, was absolutely stunning. We raced on the South Shore Beaches, which are some of most beautiful beaches I have ever seen. Running on the beach was fantastic, the grains of sand in my shoes were so much better than mud. I LOVED the sand. One obstacle was crossing the ocean for about 500 feet. The water was so clear and crisp, it was amazing.

Bermuda Triple Challenge Beach 2

The sand hills were not easy, trudging up a hill sticking in the sand AND carrying weight was tough. Although looking at the vast blue ocean and swaying trees in the breeze was so relaxing.  At one point, we filled the sand bags ourselves, a truly sustainable moment. The elements were so kind and breath taking. It was like the best of both worlds. The obstacles were challenges, with moments of “Holy Shit this is Amazing.” throughout the course. There were some barb wire crawls that nearly killed me because the sand made it a true crawl. I did say “FUCK THAT!” when I came up to the 25 foot “Assault” wall. That was the highest wall I’ve seen. Probably not, but I just couldn’t get the nerve. I did some burpees and moved on. Being on that beach kinda felt like being on survivor, except there was an end in sight with food and Gatorade.

Bermuda Triple Challenge Assault Wall

Race #3, The Chubb Royal Challenge, was seriously insane. It took place in the Royal Navy Dockyards, and was so insanely fun. I’m pretty sure Joe Desena himself would be pleased with his competition. Imagine Spartan Race meets an island with an adventure water park. It all started with a swim, and not just any swim. It was on the colder side that morning. There was a chilly breeze and the sun was barely peaking out, so the ocean was freezing. It was at a dock yard with an old abandoned prison on the grounds. We ran out to a wall off the ocean that was about 15 feet high and it was a jump and swim. A rescue boat floated beside the swimmers as they moved as fast as fucking possible swimming about 500 feet. They made an announcement at the beginning of the race to let people know that if you could not swim, DO NOT do the jump and swim. Maybe that’s why they had no life jackets, or maybe the boat was just one big life jacket for all. Many of us skipped the swim and did burpees. Yes I skipped the swim, but I had to do Instagram for ORM.

Bermuda Triple Challenge Money Shot

This was the hardest race of the three because it had so many water obstacles. There were 23 obstacles. Some were log carry, spear throw and Tarzan swing. At one point on the course there were sheep meandering around amongst the racers. Damn, I wish I got a picture of that. The zip line was pretty epic, and I was too big of a chicken shit to do it. Also I was doing Instagram for ORM, what would i have done with my phone? There stood the red dumpster with the cargo net to climb up and grab the zip line. People were flying over the ocean, it was awesome.

OH MY GOD, I almost forgot. There was a rope traverse that stretched across the ocean from wall to wall of the dock. It was a long way across and people were falling in left and right. Then there were a few guys and chicks that absolutely killed it, watching them perfect the balancing act with the ocean backdrop was amazing. The prison was eerie and beautiful and the view from the top was of the vast ocean and blue sky. Racers ran through disheveled stone doorways and skipped down terrifyingly narrow stairs. The stairs and doorways were obstacles in themselves. When you got to the roof there were volunteers holding flash cards with math problems on them and you had to get the correct answer or do burpees. This race had a great finale. There was a huge free spread of delicious food at the finish, and a beautiful, grassy place to gather with tables and seating everywhere.

Bermuda Triple Challenge - Traverse

 

Bermuda Triple Challenge wasn’t a race. It was an adventure filled with heart and true beauty. It was a vacation with unexpected challenges and a great community of kind people. I will definitely be back, with my husband, and without my kids.

Register for the next event at bdatriplechallenge.com

Tons more photos over on their Facebook page.

Sand here instead of mud . Sand Glorious sand #thinkoutsidethebox #bermuda #ocr #bdatriplechallenge @bdatriplechallenge

A post shared by Obstacle Racing Media (@obstacleracingmedia) on

Inov-8 F-Lite 235 v2 Review

Inov-8 F-Lite 235 v2
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The Inov-8 F-Lite 235 V2 is a weight lifting and general cross fit shoe.  It fits tight through the heel for extra support and the mesh middle leaves room for your foot to move. It is a shoe used for lifting, jumps, burpees, running and rope climbing. The versatility of this shoe lends itself to train for obstacles like the rope climb, or simply increase your jump speed. This shoe makes it possible to do a variety of exercises while providing support for the heel and extra protection for the toes. Certainly, burpees are no fun, but the form comes easier wearing this shoe.

Inov-8 F-Lite 235 v2 Features

Sturdy, durable heel  – Great for dead lifting and squatting, also helps with box jumps and step-ups on bench. Great balance for lifting all weights in general, good ability to lock in your heel

Mesh cradle – Very comfortable and looser in the middle of the foot without compromising the stability of the heel to lift with power.inov-8-f-lite-235-v2

Thick front bumper – Great when doing burpees or toe touches on the box. It protects feet and makes your jumps stronger because your toes are secure and fully guarded.

Grip on the side of the shoe – There is a grip for rope climbing on the side of the shoes.

Inov-8 F-Lite 235 v2 Usage

I have done an extensive amount of weight lifting, cross fit and pylometric exercises at the gym with these shoes. They are great for dead lifting and squats; I have also done jumping squats, box jumps, toe touches on box, and burpees. I really like the support they give and have not yet found a shoe that functions as well in different capacities.

In the past I would always have to change out of my lifting shoes to run afterwards. It’s been  awesome to just wear a shoe that does both. I am able to lift, do up hill running, and sprinting on the treadmill for up to 40 minutes with real support and comfortability. It falls into what you would want out of a true crossfit / cross training type shoe.

inov-8-f-lite-235-v2-review

The middle support is very secure and snug which helps keep my foot steady and healthy while sprinting. The way the middle of the shoe is designed with  mesh material helps your feet breath and feel unrestricted. Its the perfect balance between tightness and flatness to lift strong and heavy while there is support for the whole foot to run and jump.

inov-8-f-lite-235-v2-2

Inov-8 F-Lite 235 v2 Durability

These shoes are very well made and the main attributes are durable heels and toes. I think this shoe will be with me at the gym for a long time. It’s even comfortable enough to wear everyday so that should prove as a further test of it’s durability. I will update this if there is any issues in the longer term with the Inov-8 F-Lite 235 v2.

Inov-8 F-Lite 235 v2 Pros and Cons

Pros

  • Ability to lift and run with the same shoe
  • Comfortable mesh through middle
  • Toe protection for jumps
  • Plenty of space for the foot while in motion

Cons

  • Laces are too short
  • Not easy to adjust texture of laces
  • Laces have come loose sprinting

Similar Products

Nike Romaleos 2
Reebok womens crossfit lifter 
Reebok crossfit nano
Nike Metcon  2 
 

Inov-8 F-Lite 235 v2 Conclusion

This shoe is adorable, I love the colors and the simple design. It is feminine for a weight lifting shoe which is hard to find. This shoe is absolutely great for lifting weights and doing cross fit. I definitely recommend this shoe if you lift and/or do crossfit. I have been wearing Converse for a long time and this is the first weight lifting shoe that gives me that support to push through the floor with support. It is convenient and practical to be able to run as well as do other exercises to train. I LOVED lifting in  my Converse, and I never thought I’d change my shoe because of the specific form I have with lifting heavy. I’m pleasantly surprised by the performance and security this shoe provides with intense work outs. I highly recommend the Inov-8 F-Lite 235 v2  to anyone who loves to lift and also does regular cardio. These are ideal shoes to train at the gym in the colder weather for an OCR. It “multi-tasks” very well and I’m very happy with the Inov-8 F-Lite 235 v2.



Stacie Davis

Stacie Davis lives in Atlanta with her husband Matt and their 3 children . Her husband occasionally drags her to an OCR. In the last 3 years, she has transformed herself from "Treadmill Mom" to bodybuilder. She probably squats more than your mom.

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Savage Race: I was a pussy, and I’m okay with that

It was my first Savage Race, so I decided to rest  two days before so I would be able to do my best. We got a sitter which was novel idea. I insisted on just doing the race with my husband Matt and no kids. Taking your kids to a race seems like a good idea, but so does having kids.

The last OCR I did was the Spartan about two and a half years ago. My son was 6 months old and I was still nursing. Needless to say – it was awful. I hated it. I hated it A LOT. I also don’t like to do stuff I’m not good at with lots of people watching. At Spartan, I failed almost every obstacle. I was too afraid to even jump over the fire.

For the record, I don’t like barbed wire, and I don’t like mud. I don’t think getting muddy is fun, or cool,  and I am a clean freak. I am also terrified of heights. Jesus I’m neurotic, this is supposed to be a race review. I do love running, I love challenges and I love lifting heavy things. And I love doing stuff with my husband without our kids so I was fully looking forward to Savage.

Matt is very crafty. He knows me very well, and he just kind of doesn’t “mention” certain things when we do adventures together. What can I say, opposites attract, and I do love an adventure.

So almost 3 years later, after many days of lifting and general training, I was confident I’d do better this time. The race grounds were swarming with people, loud music, bare chests and lots of round butts in black short shorts. There was a lot to look at,  lots of blue and black bling. Loud music, and yelling with glee, but more like cavemen. Is that what “Let’s get Savage ” means? I wondered.

We forged towards our wave.  There were a lot of people, I don’t really like crowds, especially because I’m never as “excited” as everyone else, and I know Matt will rip a huge fart at the worst possible moment.

Then the whole group participation thing started and I’m kind of a closed off person so I don’t like group stuff at all. It makes me feel like I’m twelve again, and I need a drink to loosen up.  The crowd was pretty hyper and most of the men were shirtless, acting like tribal animals. I’m more of a no-nonsense, boring person who just wants to start the race. I could’ve done  without  all the grunting, face paint, and chanting.

savage-start-line

Matt laughed and side-eyed me at the countdown, and we were off.  I loved the trail. I loved trying to run ahead of the crowd. It was a nice first mile, the weather was perfect, the trail smelled earthy, and it was green and beautiful. I was really excited. Not the kind of excited where I grunt and yell things, just in quiet, steady anticipation.

I was also scared. I had the flashing thought : 25 obstacles is a lot . I turned to Matt “25 obstacles is a lot.”  He smiled, ” Just one obstacle at a time.”  I love running races with Matt.

As we kept running and knocking our feet against the roots and rocks, I nearly stepped in a HUGE pile of horse shit. I guess the “moonlight” in Stables  made me forget about the shit that horses make. Other racers were laughing and warning the others, “watch out for horse shit!”  I thought , now this is truly an obstacle race. A place where OCR people can be half naked, race, get muddy and wet AND possibly step in horse shit.  I was tempted to create a new hashtag.

The first few obstacles were cool. There was a wall and something else, but it wasn’t too bad. Then came the fucking barbed wire crawl with mud. Did I mention I hate mud. I don’t hate mud on its own. I hate the feeling of it in my fingers and how it oozes through my index finger to my middle finger. Then my knees slide and I hook myself on the damn barbed wire. Matt was ahead. ” I don’t like this part either,” he yelled back at me. I felt a warm slosh go up my shorts as I slid through the brown, slippery slush.

Seriously, there was way more of that. The worst was the one where it was muddy water and I had to go IN IT. LIKE I HAD TO DUNK MY HEAD UNDER the water filled with silt, mud, bacteria and possible small leeches. I screamed like a 13-year-old girl.  I don’t need to toughen up, that shit is fucking uncalled for, Ok? Why was a small part of me having fun?  Really it was a mystery to me. That while I worried I may contract some disease from water that looked like diarrhea, I was still half laughing. I also wonder if anyone from the CDC has ever done a Savage Race.

savage-muddier-dunk

That “On the Fence” obstacle was fun and just the right amount of hard. I was able to do it; so I felt like a bad ass – especially because I had been such a pussy about the contaminated water. I was mostly crusty by then, mud crust just became part of my skin. My hands were light brown, and I had particles of sand and dirt in my mouth. My teeth felt dirty and coated with small bugs. I had to occasionally tell myself this is only temporary, because I had small panic moments of just needing to take a shower in that red hot minute.

I had pulled a muscle prior to the race, and it started to hurt. I wrestled with the decision but ended up foregoing the monkey bars. That sucked, but I didn’t want to tear my muscle more.

That ice bath was fucking insane. It felt so horribly horrible, awful and horribly freezing. It took my breath away. I too had no idea I would have to immerse my head in that fucking ice water. That was cruel.   Following the brain freeze, it felt great.  I was somewhat cleaned off, but how is that really possible when the ice bath was brown?  Just like any other thing in life, everything is relative.  I started to lose some judgements for the racers who wore no clothes, because damn that wet shirt was a pain in the ass to run in.

The great wall was not great at all.  I was scared to try it because even super fit strong men were slipping and falling. The rope was like the rope in Indiana Jones but completely saturated in mud and water. I ran with focus to try to grab it and slid immediately back. There was one guy focusing like he was in the Olympics; he just kept trying and slipping. The starting line started to crowd with people because no one could get up the  wall.  A few lucky he-men hung on the other side holding their iron hands down to help people over. At that point, Matt and Obs were yelling to me to use their bodies to get up the wall. ” Use your bodies?” I yelled in a question. Then Obs started yelling at me like I was in the army, “USE ME ! USE ME!” This made me feel very panicky and neurotic. Would I hurt them? The army commands continued as if she had a whistle. “COME ON STACIE!” “CLIMB ON HIM, JUST GO!” So I did. I climbed on Matt’s shoulders and laid on Obs and got myself up far enough to grab the iron hands. “I got ya, I got ya,” I heard the nice muddy guys say in very southern accents. Jesus christ I thought to myself, that was kinda crazy. I jumped down. The girls next to me admitted they just couldn’t do that shit. I looked them in the eyes and said, “I understand.” It was five minutes, but time stopped and I thought of nothing, I just focused on getting over that wall. That’s when I started to understand the experience I was having. I was about half-way through the race, and I was thinking of nothing. I was just doing the next thing there was to do. And because most of it involved some shit that was going to be cold or muddy as hell if I fell, I tried my best to do it without fail.

There were so many obstacles, I certainly can’t bore you with every one and what it was like, but I liked a lot of them. Carrying the wood was pretty easy, but that Tree Hugger thing kind of felt like they were calling our bluffs. Like – You all think you’re so strong and fit?  Yeah well, you’re not. And fuck that one with the barrel that you have to go under. Yet another opportunity to contract some mud infested creepy virus. Apparently, Matt said I had to use my shoulders to get under it but that showed he had practiced that shit.

I know it has a Savage Race name but that pea shooter thing was fun. Okay, it was like a black scrunchy looking tunnel. I loved sliding in that thing and it had no mud in it ! I shot pretty far out of that thing and screamed again like a 13-year-old.

I had to pee, don’t ask me why. Holy hell, I thought I was going to have an OCD attack when I pulled down my shorts and saw how much mud was everywhere. I had never seen so much mud and yuck before in my life. I mean could I justify an ER visit just to use their industrial water apparatuses? I had to literally unglue my shorts off and paste them back on my skin.

Then, I took a deep breath. We were almost there. I was almost to the dreaded height obstacle I had been fearing.

People were smiling and jumping. I was not smiling. I had lots of questions and Matt’s reply to most of them was, ” You just have to do it honey. You just have to do it.” “I don’t want to do it,” I said in a terrified murmur. I looked down, to my chagrin it was muddy son of a bitchin’ water . I thought, at least if it was clear I could’ve pretended cleanliness could be a reward at the end. Okay, we held hands. The guy on the side counted, “1…..2…..3…” I froze. “I can’t do it!” I turned and walked away and Matt stayed with me, assuring me I could do it. I had a huge lump in my throat; I wanted to cry. I was scared shitless and mad that people were seeing me this way. I mean way to blow my own cover and be an enormous pussy at my first Savage. So in that moment, Tyra said, ” I was so scared too, just don’t look down, just go.” So I did. I held Matt’s hand and on the count of 3 I went. My stomach lining fell into my legs. It was a long jump. I screamed so loud. It felt great, that I did it, I was so scared and I did it. I can’t say I’ll do that again, but it was cool.

So just to totally call myself out on what a chicken shit I am, I’ll admit the slide also made me shit my pants a little. I know, a slide with water should be fun. My 7-year-old son did it!!!! Oh and Matt reminded me of that when I began to panic and said I don’t want to do that. I know he was just trying to help, but I had already been “pussified” so many times.  It was the lip of that slide. I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. It seemed so high, like if I let go I would get swallowed by something. Swallowed by something? Seriously this is getting embarrassing.  I did the same thing. I just held Matt’s hand and that guy counted, and we went. WOW, that was a fast slide, and I was alive by the end. It was maybe 3 minutes we were there, but time stopped. I only thought about that slide and getting down it. I didn’t think about anything else.

I realized I hadn’t thought about anything during the race but the race. The trail engulfed us while we ran or walked or climbed up hills. We made jokes and just went on to the next thing. We just kept going; even when things sucked, we knew we’d be onto the next thing. No one had a phone, no one had anything with them, just us. Whether I hated the mud or not, it was an unforgettable experience. I think you live a little more when you do an obstacle course race. The extreme conditions force you to be human with other humans. There is nothing to hide behind, and I liked that part. I guess I’m okay with looking like a pussy, and there were some pretty cool people watching.

savage-finish


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