Select a Logo, Win a Race

Which Says ‘Cranky Bastard’ Best?

cranky bastard logos

I have a ton of fun writing the Cranky Bastard editorial column at Obstacle Racing Media, and while I realize I’m opinionated, schizophrenic, and not nearly as funny as I think I am, the column has proven to be a really great way to generate discussion in our community.

Whether you agree or disagree with my views on OCR culture, my goal is to entertain you while also making you think. I strongly encourage engagement with Cranky Bastard articles as I do not pretend to speak for the community as a whole. You all have your own views, and Cranky is a great place to express yourself.

Trust me, people are reading, and your perspective will be heard.

Now, Want A Free Race?

It’s with all this in mind that I ask you, the readers, to help me select a logo, and maybe, you’ll win a free race. We will give away one free OCR race, randomly, from the comments below, so use your real email! (and no, we won’t spam you. spam blows.)

Here’s how to be considered for a free race:

  1. See the logo sheet of possible Cranky Bastard logos above
  2. In the comments below, please share your favorite, and why
  3. To win, you must have also give a reason for your choice. Can’t just say, “the dog”
  4. Facebook responses don’t count. We need one place for which to review responses.
  5. Your choice does not affect your ability to win, so say whatever you want (cleanly, of course)

Thanks, and good luck. We will select a winner Wednesday, August 28, 2013.

* Logo designs by Heath Beeferman, Art Director, Atlanta.


Cranky Bastard

…And I race obstacles.

No, I’m not a mud runner. I am an obstacle racer.

Yes, it matters; and yes, there is a difference.

I love the sport, love racing and love being part of this fast-growing community we call obstacle course racing, but I can’t help but pick out everyday examples that I find odd, inconsistent or contrary to the true vibe of the sport of OCR, as I see it.

Cranky Bastard articles are full of arrogance, elitest, prima donna attitude, but hopefully, plenty of points to make those in our community think, and perhaps drive change where change is needed.

Latest posts by Cranky Bastard (see all)

  1. Stenciled face logo with the gritting teeth.


    #1 the font.

    #2 the gritting teeth shows the seething underneath rage of opinion about to burst.

    #3 Like the eyes.

  2. I like the top left one(black and white) with the guy screaming in the middle. I think it shows the frustration the Cranky Bastard is trying to portray with his articles. The anguish in the logo’s face is perfect for that emotion

  3. I like the logo with the dog. It is the closest logo to something that actually looks cranky without also being something that people need to TRY to interpret. You see the dog, you see the name, you simply understand.

  4. I vote for the angry monkey! No one gets more mad than a monkey, they do that angry poo throwing thing. Don’t let angry bastard do that! Well maybe do it metaphorically. Because sometimes there is a lot a metaphorical poo in the sport of OCR.

  5. The monkey. Because every time i ever went to the zoo, the monkey’s/gorilla’s always threw things at us. They can be very cranky. And the monkey reminds me of Johnny Chimpo from the Super Troopers. And who doesn’t love super troopers?

  6. The stencil face with gritted teeth. That image just screams cranky bastard to me. I agree with David S. The font looks great too.

  7. I like the third one down with the angry face. I think it embodies both the Cranky Bastard mentality in addition it is thee look the many people have experienced during obstacle course races. Whether it be from an obstacle, waiting in line, or a canceled event, you can place this face on almost anybody. You can do a whole series of people sending in their pics with their Cranky Bastard face.

    Rage against the dying of the light!

  8. The angry face on the right. It looks like someone who is really aggravated and wants you to know it.

  9. The monkey and banana. We all climb like monkeys AND we eat bananas before, during and after a race. It’s perfect!

  10. I like the one above the monkey. Simple but definitely hardcore looking. You can see the entire font and I love his horns!!

  11. The Cranky Panda has to win! Panda bears are all warm, fuzzy and playful looking. On national Geographic or Animal Planet, we never see an angry panda. Everybody loves them. The same goes for many of the sweet and innocent looking people at OCR’s/mud runs. The moment they get on that course, they all become angry pandas! Angry pandas on a mission…

  12. Actually kind of like the circle one with the horned squarish thing. Nice & clean logo. Classic. It would look good as an 8″ – 10″ logo on the front of a shirt. Just my $0.02

  13. The logo should be of the dog for the following reasons:

    1. Color wise, it pops more than the others. I like the use of color in the other ones, but the logo just pops more.

    2. while the monkey looks awesome as well, it reminds me of the psycho monkey from family guy…. played out.

    3. dogs are in fact the best animal in the world, and can be cranky and stubborn.

    Ergo, the logo should be of the dog.

  14. I think the Dog or monkey are the best…leaning more the dog…..They would look better on prints or shirts than the rest….Especially if its the main logo for a new run, it will compliment a website well because it has more of “pop” look…as in it stands out more

  15. The logo with the simple face with clenched teeth with Cranky on one side and Bastard on the other. It can be made into a die-cut decal easily, and used for t-shirts and vehicle decals without needing a multicolor printing process. plus it’s unique, and runs no chance of possible copywright problems (like the monkey, which is -very- close to the angry monkey from ‘Family Guy’. And FOX has -scary- lawyers, and lots of them…)

  16. I’m torn between the cranky panda and the gritted teeth on the second “row”…

    I love the fierce look of the cranky panda but feel it doesn’t represent what the blog is trying to portray but it does look badass. Which is why the gritted teeth version looks better. The font is not as pronounced but the message is clear in the artwork. If your looking for something commercial or something to draw attention, I would say go with the dog or panda (I like Pandas..) But if your looking for something with more integrity and bite, go with the gritted teeth.

    Just my $.02

  17. The monkey because he could cause trouble by throwing his banana peel under your feet. Monkeys are known for throwing ‘stuff’ just for the heck of it..

  18. Definitely the dog! That is the epitomy of cranky. the other logos just look mad and deranged.

  19. Personally The dog says cranky best of all.
    All the others give off the vibe of being angry or in a fit of rage!
    Where as the dog looks like it was woken up too early, hasn’t had it’s morning cup of coffee yet and stupid people are already getting to him, It’s perfect!

  20. I like the one with the gritting teeth

    1. Still makes him look angry but also the competitive aggressiveness we have come to expect.

    2. Looks more like a real person.

    3,. Shows everyone’s attitude when getting ready to start their obstacle race. it just shows the angry bastard’s demeanor at all times!!

  21. I like the sketched face logo.

    The font sets the tone, but it’s used in two other logos, the real difference is the anger in the eyes. Also when you’re mad (cranky) you tend to scribble your thoughts on paper, which the sketch style implies.

  22. The monkey. Teeth showing and bananas to throw, priceless. Love it. I want to throw a banana.

  23. The cranky bastard is cranky, but he’s not angry, and he makes good points. So you want something that can walk the line. So that’s why I like the dog, cause much like the cranky bastard – even though he’s cranky, you still love him! (and want to pet him, but don’t want to pick up his poop).

  24. I think the dog looks the most cranky.
    The other pictures border more on evil – psychotic.

  25. The one that is the Cranky *close up of face* bastard (between the 2 circle logos). It is easy to read and would transfer to merchandise easily.

  26. I like the “Cranky Bastard” in the Circle. The one in the middle row. I like the devil horns. I like the generic image instead of being linked to a specific animal. it is easy to read and self-contained which can lend itself to limitless possibilities for branding options.
    Hats off to the designer on that one!!!

  27. I love the top left guy with the fists showing because it seems like his has had enough and is about to explode with a bunh of profanity Haha!

  28. The ‘Monkey’

    looks very cranky, like he just got up late for his OCR and is about to have a cranky fit and throw his pre race banana at some one!

    Pick the Monkey, there awesome, they would all so be the best in the animal world at OCRs 🙂

  29. I like the dog logo simply because it reminds myself when I wake up on a non race weekend… I’m one cranky bastard and could bite your freaking head off!

  30. I like the panda because I would like to eat a panda. Ok kidding I just like it, and if you really need a reason f*ck you thats why.

  31. The monkey because when I read the editorials the image of a raving mad monkey fits the bill.

  32. I think the best one is the panda. You never see an angry panda! they are all so good, but that’s my favorite, followed closley by the square ‘monster’ i think that would make an awesome patch.

  33. I would have to say the guy from the top left why… Because who on a race hasn’t had one of those moments when you get frustrated or passed up … You show tears or your shorts…. And you just get angry…. Just me 🙂 But he also reminds people it is ok to get mad… Be a cranky bastard and never settle for less than your personal best 🙂

  34. Monkey…Most races hand out bananas at the end, and most of us eat them before. If there is such a thing as an official fruit of OCR it would be the banana.

  35. I like the circle logo with the angry square dude. Why? Because it says cranky the best. Most of the other ones are more angry and there’s a subtle difference between angry and cranky. I’ve also read many of his cranky posts and part of his crankiness is deep rooted in frustration which is expressed very well in the face. I also enjoy the simplicity and unique nature of the design. Sure the monkey is good, which was my initial pick, but that monkey is not very unique. An added bonus is the marketability of the round logo. I would definitely buy a cranky bastard sticker like that! (or a t-shirt)… a great conversation starter. The font is the only difference between the two that I see and I would go with the second one (middle right)

  36. I like the attitude of the Dog logo. OCR is both whimsical and full of attitude. The dog represents both and remains fun.

  37. I like the one with the big toothy grimace and the slanted eyes. Reminds me of the Grinch that stole Christmas!

  38. Monkey with banana because of the grinning (which we all do at some point in an OCR)
    And the banana for the post race ( and yes I have been to some with no banana post race and I am not a happy camper)

  39. I like the monkey because monkeys are cranky bastards and it is fitting of a cranky bastard because they are always angry and he looks like he is going to throw that banana.

  40. The Dog

    I biased and a big dog fan. 🙂
    But I’m also a designer and while the monkey and the circle logo with the square guy are also very strong and worthy of choosing because all three will work well in various mediums the dog wins in my opinion.


    Will translate to one color, two color and various forms of usage including print, embroidery, tshirts etc. a bastard is also a male dog so it’s fitting with the name. Dogs can be cranky too. The logo pops off the page and demands attention more than any of the others. This screams to be used on promo materials from shirts to hats to decals. Well done design.

    1. PANDA. Typically very passive, happy-go-lucky animals in the wild, unless you piss them off. I have a feeling this is very much the same of Cranky Bastard.

  41. I like the top left- most original and angry bastard looking! Well, the wrestler one is pretty original, but not angry enough! The monkey looks too much like a rip-off of Family Guy.

  42. banner top left with screaming man in the middle. Looks like me when I’m waiting in line at an obstacle or when they cancel and I had ten family members going to do their very first race.,..also get out of my way because I’m old and don’t have many more of these I can do??????????????????? Get my point?

  43. I think that I like the sketched face that is 3rd from the top. I think that minimalist designs speak louder than the more complicated artwork that the other represents. also some of the other designs seem to lack originality (i.e. the angry monkey in the closet.) I can just see that graphic as a awesome vinyl window sticker or looking pretty sick on a heather grey running tee.

  44. Logic.someone who is cranky is vocal about it, you are hemming /hawing etc. which requires your mouth to be open. all but 2 logos at most show gritted teeth, the only 2 with an open mouth are the blue fatbastard guy and the one right above with fists clenched. I am a huge austin powers fan , have a fatbastard doll and even a shark with frickin laser beam ( not trying to promote another website here but i got it at . upon further inspection of FBlike character, (means i magnified image on the droid here) he looks more like an angry professional wrestler, going for the flying elbow to finish off his opponent. So in my mind, the winner is:
    First logo( above FB guy) because he generally looks cranky and looks like someone who is emphatically making his point. ……..And now time to get caffeined up and into battle mode for the midatlantic super, AROOOOOO

  45. I like the panda one. It is clean and well done, portrays the concept without being too busy. Also pandas are cute animals until you piss them off.

  46. I would go with the stenciled guy gripping his fists. I like the font and that he looks pissed and irate and cranky at the same time.

    1. The logos in the circles look like the little guy is taking a sh!t.
    2. The other stenciled logo looks mischievous but not cranky.
    3. The masked hero would be Fat Bastard, but he’s no Cranky Bastard
    4. The dog and monkey logos are played out and childish
    5. The panda one reminds me too much of Kung Fu Panda

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