Cranky Bastard Virtual Race

Cranky Bastard 5K-10 Virtual Race

The Cranky Bastard 5K/10K Race is Over

Bummer, sorry you missed this one-time special event, but don’t be too bummed because we have more cool contests coming your way throughout 2014.


Let’s Work Together to Shut Him Up

We love Cranky, but all we hear in the studio is how little he thinks most obstacle racers speed-train compared to ‘real’ runners. Cranky thinks most obstacle racers don’t train specifically to run faster, and even goes as far as to say OCR is a just a trailrunning race with a lot of breaks.

Actually, maybe we don’t really love him that much after all, but anyway…

Let’s Race!

Not like we need an excuse, but let’s race.  Let’s show this fool that not only do obstacle race athletes train, we train to get faster, and what’s a better way to showcase this than in a Cranky Bastard 5K/10K Virtual Race.

Run. Record. Repeat.

The rules are simple.

  1. Register and pay the $25 registration
  2. {optional} Talk trash on the Facebook event page
  3. Choose your race distance (5K or 10K)
  4. Run the distance on the road or trail.
  5. Give it your best effort. After all, fast or slow, it is a race, and we want you to push yourself
  6. Record your finish time
  7. Submit your race time to the Queen of ORM
  8. Collect your unique, one-of -a-kind Cranky Bastard Finisher Medal

But, here’s a little spin:

The race begins once you register, but the race continues until January 31, 2014.

This means that for your one-time registration fee of $25.00, you can submit a race finish time more than once, up to 5 times. This way, not only can we show that Cranky Bastard that OCR athletes can run, and do train to get faster, but we can prove it.

Winners Here. Winners There.

How do you win? By being the fastest, of course. Didn’t we say this was a race?

The following categories will be eligible for prizes:

  • Top 3 male and female racers overall*

But, we will recognize all kinds of winners.

The following categories will be displayed and recognized on the Obstacle Racing Media website:

  • Fastest overall male and female at each distance
  • Fastest overall male and female master racers
  • Top 3 in age groups in 10 and under, 11-19, 20-29, 30-39, 40-49, 50-59, 60+
  • For the runners who submit multiple race times, we will recognize the Most Improved Racer

* To be eligible for prizes, you must submit proof in the form of run tracking data, screenshot, phone picture, etc. If you are in contention for a prize, you know these technologies, and know what we mean.

Register Now

Easy, right?

Register Now, and get running. And remember, after you submit your first finisher time, if you think you can do better, submit again – until January 31, 2014.

A Word About Cheating

Come on, now, you guys know how much Cranky loves to call out cheaters.

We know there is nothing to stop people from cheating in a virtual race, but please do remember, we are a small community, and in the end, you are only cheating yourself, your reputation and your integrity – both inside and outside of OCR.

If you’re caught cheating, you’ll have to answer to Cranky. Good luck with that.

Cranky Bastard Finisher Medals for All Finishers

Okay, really, these are just flat-out cool finisher medals. One of the coolest ever seen in OCR, or road races, anywhere.

Every finisher who submits a time will receive a finisher medal. Period. It’s an exceptional way to tell Cranky to stuff it, visually. Naturally, all finisher medals will be mailed out after January 31, 2014.

Register Now


Christian Griffith

Christian Griffith is one of the Co-Founders of ORM. He can also now be found working with GORUCK as the SVP, Marketing.

Latest posts by Christian Griffith (see all)

    1. At this particular time, yes, Canadian entries are accepted. This may change for future events, or require a small additional shipping fee, but for this event, Canada is open to register like everyone else.

  1. Can we run both 5k and 10k depending on what mood we happen to be in? And by run tracking data, does this include Mapmyrun apps et al?

    1. Taiji: for a single registration, you must compete at a single distance, either 5K or 10K, to be eligible for recognition and ranking. However, you are welcome to register twice {grins} and take on both camps!

      1. Well, I paid for 2, one for myself and my husband before I got your reply. Paid $50 both under my paypal so hope it works! How do we know if our emails with our times was received?

        1. Chris – please look for your results on the Cranky Bastard race results page. Please allow a few days for your results to appear as this is a manual updating process. Thanks…

          1. Okay. I don’t see either of our names on the results and we have not received our medals either. What do I do now?

          2. Hi Chris – please alert [email protected] and she’ll get you taken care of. It’s best if you still have your order number and full name. As many details as you can give her. Thanks


  2. About submitting proof of our race, can we just take a photo of ourselves on the course we ran? Is that enough?

  3. Just curious as to how you want us to track our times. Do we just post them, or do you want a link from one of the tracking apps…(MayMyRun, Nike Fit…Etc.)

    1. Hi Darcy – yes, you can simply pay via credit card on the PayPal site. Just don’t “login” to PayPal, and select the link for “pay with a credit or debit card”

  4. I submitted my time today. I was wondering if there was confirmation email saying they got it and if there was notification of the medal being sent out.

    1. Jayson – we update the standings periodically, so keep any eye out. The medals will be shipped out no later than January 31, 2014.

      1. Thank you for the prompt response. I was just curious how it work since this is only my second virtual

        1. Jayson: no problem, admittedly, as a company, it’s our first. Thank you for taking the challenge and stay tuned for even more interesting ones down the line.

    1. Hi Mike – I’m sorry, but we filled the race last week. However, stay tuned as we have some really cool challenges coming up that are sure to test your fitness.

  5. Hey Guys:

    I had an awesome time doing the Cranky Bastard Run. Has there been any news about mailing out medals, awards, and results? I can’t wait to do this again.


  6. Received the Medal and it is Great Thanks. Please let me know when the next one is 🙂

  7. Hey ORM!! Keep up the amazing work of keeping all us crazies up to date on all things OCR. I was wondering though when the awards will be announced for the Cranky Bastard 5K and 10K? When I checked the results and times in February, I was in 2nd place. Just curious when all the awards will be announced. Thanks!

Comments are closed.

Previous Article

The OCR World Championships-Too Soon To Tell?

Next Article

Episode 74 2013 World's Toughest Mudder Part II

Related Posts